meh

I am silent, cold and speak in black and white tones like
those movies you watch with your grandparents
to learn what it feels like to be feel old.
Dreams in moral virtues and hues of baby blues,
the way you read me, man, you read me just right
with text scrolling in yellow glints across my face.
I am perfectly made in the image of some god
with curled curls and pearly whites adorned with jeweled crowns
and long trimmed nails. The pictures never looked as glorious or
felt as smooth as that long practiced red lipped kiss on a white
stained wall.
But now we stand woven and teased out like the louse that has taken
shelter in that eyebrow follicle that twitches when you laugh.
Glamor, baby, you have it all, and I can only stare and drool
in the anticipation that time will have you moving towards me,
looking, staring, comparing...
You held my heart strained against the cracked porcelain
mane of the beast you sold your records to
Tip tapping the change in your pocket, so hard to beat
figuring I'd keep quiet the harder you'd squeeze.
You had me hello and now you've left me with no goodbye
like the sale of some used pantyhose drawn in at the seams,
too tight to breathe.
Dressed like the doll you had painted me to be, I
walk, I talk like some dead cadaver knowing the jokes
you had trained me to believe. I live for this.
I die for this.
Your voice hisses from the train as the whistles clang and bang
my hands against the grate leaving me behind
perfectly poised for the meeting of friends,
but you are no friend,
but a coming of news, and a poor soul with even slower aim,
And I take pity, pity, pity
Over every drawled out word thinking the chapter draws nigh
to an end, a place to begin, restart, befriend.
My heel is broken, cracked skin runs red, and the blues of my
thighs to the yellows on my ribs turn purple upon
my asking, like an invitation to play, or more so,
a demand to invent, to hide, to circumvent.
give me a deal, man, you read me so well.



It's easier when this stuff just crawls out of the woodwork, you know? I need to do this more often as it's like meditation and release. Feels good to put words to work.

Last day of classes tomorrow! I had sushi tonight, and it was wonderful, as it always is. I have a ton to do. I have to put the pedal to the metal, literally.