Damn, I hate getting my period. Not just because of the physical act of actually getting a period, but the emotional ride the little fucker takes me on. I went from being all mopey and depressed to almost touching nirvana and tucking into cloud 9. fack.
But, I guess that's what 5 episodes of Arrested Development and a peanut butter cup sundae can do to ya :) I'm really glad I took the night off. I might regret it come tomorrow and my massive list of things to do, but I'm happy.
I'm also happy because I saw an old foe's facebook. They look happy. And you know what, I'm happy for them. They accomplished what they wanted, and that means a lot to me, no matter if we got along in high school or not. I'm happy for them. I really am, its weird. I guess I was always jealous of their drive, something I hungered for and was always empty on. It's an issue I'm dealing with still, but goddamn, it's so refreshing to see someone be so alive. They chase dreams; I only dream them. I realize I have grown up under the illusion that good things should be put off until necessary things and the 'formula' are complete. Well, I say fuck that. I shouldn't have to wait to be happy, or to do what I want. Things happen all the time, right? Good and bad; why can't I also work towards getting what I want?
I feel constantly chased by this big hand of time, I might as well start running.
I want to count. I want to start making things count. I count.
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