:/

I keep thinking about Zack, about how I didn't see him off. I'm such a weak person. In these situations I feel like I can do nothing right. I think of his last days; him getting lost in the house/forgetting where he was and who we were, his blindness, his weakness, his loss of everything. I heard mom say on the phone she still wakes up 2-3 times a night expecting him to be by her bed like he always did to let her know he had to go outside. I too, somehow always expect him to be in the corner of the room, perking his head up when I open the door to come in.

I miss you bud, and I'm sorry. The last 16 years wouldn't have been the same without you. You were a wonderful member in our family. I wish I did more.



I'm still at home, writing my midterm. It's due Tuesday. I'm using Simone de Beauvoir's The Second Sex to dissect Spitboy's "What are Little Girls Made of?". Interesting indeed. I'm a page in, only need 3-4 more. However, I'm kinda sad. All this new radio music I downloaded keeps me going, and it keeps me pumped. I would like to go dancing this week/weekend. It would be such an amazing release!

Anyways, I plan on a late night. I want to get a lot done in order to avoid late nights later on in the week. Like a bandaid, just one tug tonight and I should be in the clear. After looking at my schedule and due dates, I'm not in as big a hole as I thought I was. Imma be okkkkk.


K....I'm off to feminism and DIY '90s hardcore. Cute.