You are the hue's shade.

I place you in a frame of snow, you know? It holds you well; the way your spine meets halfway with a familiarity of gravity that kisses the ground that holds you together, but it is the wit in your walk, the rationale of your calculated step that will have the crowd talking for hours. Will you redden with their chatter, or will you green with your expulsion? To find out such a secret would permit an honor upon me I could barely contain (secrets were my closest friends, my most deadliest enemies). I lay for hours; you will lie for years. I see you as that erratic blue, the one that stains your summer teeth when bushes claw at your naked calves as you scramble through that wilderness of life's bramble trying to find where your squared root is held within the tree's hollow. Walk slow, walk sure but breathe deep; such aromas were never meant to be permanent. And when you laugh, I hear echoes; you don't believe it, but you have been here before, an animal, a beast unknown.

I watch your hands create masterpieces out of molecular formations of the clear kind; I want to laugh as I can see you trying to catch your ideas as the spill out of your mouth like dried beans from a ripped sack. But, I don't. And when you talk, moving and pushing aerosol words and facts and figures, it's like watching you write and imprint something of meaning into permanence. I want to breathe in your books, all of them. I want to absorb your brilliant hue onto my skin and to have it come off in layers like the rituals of some pancake makeup soaked tribe. A lullaby in exchange might be all I can muster; much of what I had lies dormant in some landlocked shell. I have walked in silence for a long time; to speak, to speak! What a sincere delicacy, one that is almost too rich for a tongue like mine. Heaven forgive me, forbid me, should it fall off.

I know not what I do, but I follow what I feel. Tell me I am wrong; tell me I am right. I know not what I am, nor who I could be. I follow the treads of my own two feet; too convinced of my own innocence. I dare you to try me; survive a tempest in heat, and you will know you can do it all.


xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

My first successful and pleasant coffee date in a long time. I smile.

:)


I am still sick. A growing concern is starting to consume me. Either I am too stoic, or too stubborn, or too stupid, but I refuse to see the doctor again. I don't mind the cough, the leaky eyes or my throat; I just wish my ears were unblocked. I absolutely cannot hear. I feel as though I had missed some important details.

Am I missing some important details?

I rest now; today was an awfully long and heavy day.